Letters to Lovi
by xXnarutarded101Xx
Summary: Lovino has been forced to accept letters by due to the nagging of his Boss and brother. So why not join in on harassing him via mail? All letters accepted, yaoi is allowed. Rated M for language and potential future violence and yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Caio,<p>

This is Lovino Vargas also known as Romano or South Italy. I'm starting this because my annoying Boss and fratello keep telling me that I need to 'improve my foreign relations' Che! As if! But, whatever. Just send in your letters and I'll (be forced to) reply. Oh, and if your reading this tomato bastard, do me a favor and pretend you never saw this! I guess that's it for now.

~ With much reluctance and irritation,

Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey guys! This is my first time writing as an actual pre-existing character. I hope I don't disappoint. All letters are welcome and yaoi is allowed. I'm pretty supportive of all pairings...but I don't know if Lovi is~ *looks away*<br>Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	2. Spain 1

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>My little tomato,<p>

Lovi! How could you start writing letters out to the world and not tell ME! Of all people, Lovi. I couldn't ever ignore this, you know this most of all.

Love and Tomatoes,

Spain

[A/N: Fail Spain letter is fail. I tried, right?]

* * *

><p>Dear creepy tomato bastard,<p>

First of all, do not call me that! Second, why the hell **would** I tell you? Tch! It's not like I **wanted** you to write to me! And why not? All it takes is one quick decision to leave me the hell alone for once!

~with irritation

Lovino

P.S. Stop calling my damn house every five minutes! If I didn't pick it up the first time, what in the hell makes you think I'd pick it up the next 80 times?

[A/N: Nah~ It was good! And thanks so much for being the first to write in!]

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Haha, that was fun~ I feel kinda bad for Spain though. T.T It kills me to be so mean to him~ Oh, well. Life goes on.<br>**

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	3. Lovino 1

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Impostor,<p>

What. The. FUCK.  
>You are not Lovino! I am Lovino!<br>And don't you dare argue, you bastard!  
>How dare you try to even pull that stunt.<p>

Go To Hell,  
>The True Lovino<p>

* * *

><p>Dear Mental Patient,<p>

I don't know where the hell you come off trying to claim that I'm the damn impostor in this situation!  
>Don't tell me what the fuck not to do! The only one allowed to do that is S-...never mind...Ignore that.<br>How dare you try to accuse me when we both know that it's bullshit!

~The only Lovino Vargas

P.S. I won't go to hell, that means I'd have to see your damn ugly mug.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Woah, that isn't confusing and trippy at all~ XD No offense intended to Windup-Charmer. I hope I did okay with the response~<strong>**  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	4. Feliciano 1

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Fratello~<p>

Ciao!

How are you?

I'm great ^^

I've been hanging around Germany and Japan!

We made cookies and pasta yesterday!

Huh? Ah...you see...I made pasta for dinner again...I have to go take it out~

Ciao!

Your brother,

Feliciano!

* * *

><p>Dear Feli,<p>

Caio...I guess...

I've been better, I now have a psycho that has sent me a massage telling me that I'm not me and that he's me, and had Spain bugging the crap out out of me. So thanks for forcing me to this stupid thing. Really fucking appreciate it!

I don't see why you're still spending time with that stupid potato bastard!

You always make pasta. Wait...who's idiotic idea was it to give you cookies? You don't need the sugar rush!

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>**Poor Germany and Japan, having to deal with a sugar high Feli~ I wish I had pictures.  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	5. Spain 2

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>My little tomato,<p>

Why not? I feel the name suits you well, every time I talk to you, your face turns as red as a tomato, Lovi! I'll always write you, and I'll keep writing you!

Love and Tomatoes,

Spain

P.S. I just wanted to talk to you about Christmas! Quite frankly, I wasn't even doing the one touching there!

* * *

><p>Dear tomato bastard,<p>

It does not! You're imagining shit! Go get your damn head checked! Don't! Just fucking don't!

~Lovino

P.S. ...Christmas? What the hell are you talking about bastard? The only thing I remember from Christmas was drinking some wine with Feli that France sent us as...a...gift...I'm going to go try and figure out why I have blank sections in my memory...I won't be answering my damn phone.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Lol, Romo got drugged. Wait what was France planning to do with a a pair of drugged Vargas twins...Wait! Better question! What did Feli do if he drank it too? o.O ...I bet Germany can answer that...<strong>**  
>Haha, wonder what Spain's reaction will be when he figures out what France intended to do to his little Lovi. Ah, sweet, sweet chaos~<br>**

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	6. Spain 3

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>My little tomato,<p>

Oh yes it does~ Don't deny it! You do look like a tomato, and therefore I'll call you 'Lovi, my angry little Italian tomato.' And I will.

Love and tomatoes,

Spain

P.S. Christmas... you... drunk... santa suit... erogenous zone... FRANCE DID WHAT. LOVI, I'VE TOLD YOU NOT TO ACCEPT GIFTS FROM FRANCE. THEY WILL BE DRUGGED! LOVI! GO GET THAT CHECKED! ANSWER ME DAMMIT!

* * *

><p>Dear tomato bastard,<p>

I will deny it as much as I fucking please! You absolutely will not call me that god dammit!

~Lovino

P.S. ...I don't even want to know. The mental picture is fucking horrifying enough!Like I listen to you when you tell me shit! I fucking noticed jackass! Nice to know your friends with someone that creepy and perverted. It let's me know what the hell to expect from you! Considering you choose to associate with him! Y-You didn't ask him t-to send me that shit did you? I-If you did I will never fucking forgive you!...N-Not that I'd be fucking upset or anything dammit...Who the hell checks people with drug related blackouts? The hell? And I will not pick up the damn phone! I'm busy dammit!

P.P.S. Stop calling me Lovi! It's fucking Lovino bastard! Get it right!

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>** Aww, Lovi doesn't want to admit that he would be hurt if Spain convinced France to drug him. But we all know better~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	7. New Zealand and Australia 1

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>'Ello 'Ello!<p>

Hehehehehehe.

soooo funn to write in english speak! Don't tell him though.. he wont be too happy, and try to take my lil poor sheep away from me.

(splatters of what possibly smells like beer or some sort of alcohol as well as a sheeps hoof print)

Me 'n Aussie are at this EPIC pub! The booze here is amazing! You can come and join us whenever you want, just wander around the downtown of Auckland (not on St Patties day though. The bars are too full, and they kick you out for being "too drunk!")

Till later~ (I just LOVE those squiggly little thingys!)

New Zealand. (and the one and only Australia)

{On the back of the piece of paper}

(pish. I bet there are more aussies out there. But there's only one pearl!)

(one wha?)

(geeze. Don't you listen to music? Six months in a leaky boat! Look it up!)

(...'m bored. Movie?)

(eh. what one?)

(Crocodile Dundee :D)

(no)

(buh

(no)

* * *

><p>Dear New Zealand and Australia,<p>

As if I'd go out of my way to talk to that bushy brow weirdo. I don't think so, I'm not drinking again after the whole France's wine incident...*shudder*

~Lovino

P.S. Why would you two have a conversation between yourselves on the back of the letter when you're sitting right next to one another...drunkards...

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>** Haha, NZ and Australia are wasted~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	8. Spain 4

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>My little tomato,<p>

You just don't want to admit it! How cute! Oh Lovi, my angry little Italian tomato, I will call you whatever I please.

Love and tomatoes,

Spain/Antonio

P.S. Then you... your brother... dragged me into it... It wasn't very fun, but... well...

You better start listening to me Romano. My culture is a huge influence in your country for a reason. I could just let France invade you. Would you like that?

No, I actually didn't tell him to drug you.

PICK UP THE DAMNED PHONE.

P.P.S. I will call you Lovi, because you are MY little tomato, and I say so

* * *

><p>Dear tomato bastard,<p>

...I dislike you with such a great intensity...Do not call me that jackass. I'm in no fucking mood. Hospitals piss me off...

~Lovino

P.S. I really do not want to know dammit! You wouldn't fucking dare...W-Would you? A-Asshole! Don't threaten me with that creepy frog!

Thank g-...I mean you better fucking not have bastard!

I **can't** pick up the phone if I'm not at home dammit!

P.P.S. I am not! You don't have the right to just go around claiming people! I am a freethinking individual god dammit! The only way you can say someone is yours is if you are dating or married or some shit like that! Stupid bastardo!

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>** Oh dear! That poor hospital staff!  
>Ah...Lovi may not want to know want to know what happened at Christmas...but I do. I keep getting lost, what the hell did Italy do?<br>**

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	9. Hungary 1

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Little Lovino.<p>

You remember Christmas? Because word is going around that you don't. Well, I have pictures ^^

Hungary

* * *

><p>Dear Hungary,<p>

No! I don't actually! Who the hell is going around telling people? Wait...PICTURES? OF WHAT? ...You know...on second thought...I don't want to know.

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>** Hehehe~ I want to see those pictures! I want copies~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	10. Raquelle 1

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Hello Lovino,<p>

This is Raquelle Jones(better known as America's daughter Oregon). I have a few questions for you...

1)Do you know weather your brother and Germany are together YET! Leo and I had a bet on how long it'd take for those two to get together...and since we live across a giant ass lake...yeah..

2) Are you and Spain together? At all? If so, Sweetness!

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

Caio. Ask away.

1) What? No! My fratello and that potato bastard are most certainly not dating!

2) E-Eh? Hell no! We aren't! At fucking all! What the fuck is with the relationship questions? Absolutely not sweetness dammit!

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>** Hehe, Lovi is angry and embaressed~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	11. Raquelle 2

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino,<p>

Really, cause that's not what I heard from Gilbert about it,.. Anyway, why not? I think you and Spain would be cute together!

And before you question my sanity, I've been hanging out with ms. Hungary a lot...

Talk to you later,

Raquelle Jones( Oregon!)

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

Tch. Like the drunken potato bastard's older brother is a reliable source of information. Because! I don't need to give a damn reason! No we fucking wouldn't!

I can tell...

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>** Kesesesese~ Pissy Lovi~ Just a heads up you guys. The next chapter is going to be a bit emotional. I warned ya~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	12. Spain 5

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>My little tomato,<p>

You only say that because you know you love me and just don't want to admit it! [A/N: Oh dear, that's starting to sound like my best guy friend and I.] Lovi, my angry little Italian tomato, I reiterate, I will call you what. ever. I. please.

Love and tomatoes,

Spain

P.S. ... Well, someone's going to have to tell you sometime... you sort of... well... tried to rape your brother. And make me join in. Then you flashed everyone and tried to drag me under the mistletoe... then what happened after then... *shudder, tears stain paper*

Though, I will threaten you with Francis, because you have no idea how many times I saved you from him. He wanted you SO BAD, and I wouldn't let him take you. Though, if you're going to be a naughty boy, I'll gladly let him take you.

THEN GO HOME AND PICK IT UP DAMMIT!

P.P.S. Yes, you are my little tomato, I raised you growing up, my little tomato. I can claim you, I did at one point have guardian privileges over you.

P.P.P.S. Get over it, I'm not going anywhere. Te amo Lovi~

* * *

><p>Dear tomato bastard,<p>

You are fucking delusional, you know that jackass?

Che. Whatever. Do what you please. I don't give a shit anymore.

~Lovino

PS. I-I w-what? B-But how the fuck- I w-would never- I...I-I'm s-so fucking sorry... (a few tear stains, rest of writing is sloppily written)

I-I don't care...you m-might as well...I d-deserve it...

I-I don't think...I c-can go home now...I j-just...can't... (rest of letter is illegible)

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Aww. poor Lovi and Toni! Now Lovi is all guilty and depressed...and refusing to come home. -insert super sad face- I feel so bad for him. He's probably going to be beating himself up for quite some time...**  
><strong>-side note- man, when I read this expecting some random embarrassing story and I got to Spain's explanation...I felt so lost on what to write. I hope this is an okay response. Sorry about having this chapter being so heavy guys!<strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	13. Earth 1

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>To Lovino Vargas AKA Southern Italy<p>

QUIT YOU MOTHER FUCKING COMPLAINING ABOUT ANTONIO CALLING YOU LOVI!

Seriously man you think you got problems? Everyone thinks that I'm a chick! It's all mother this, mother that! SCREW YOU GUY'S JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE ASSUMES THAT EARTH IS A CHICK DOESN'T MEAN I AM ONE!

... so anyway calm the fuck down man. Damn it. Everytime one of you damn nations chucks a hissy fit I always get either a stomach ach or a head ach. I'm going back to bed. Maybe if I sleep for another hundred years you and Antonio will finally be together. So much UTS.

From Earth

P.S if there are personifications countries and states it makes sense that there's one for the planet right?

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

I did. I told him I didn't care anymore.

I'm afraid I can't help you on that one.

My bad. I would sleep way longer if you were hoping to see that happen. Try after hell freezes over.

~Numbly

Lovino

P.S. I suppose.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: O.o It's weird talking to your own planet...**

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	14. Raquelle 3

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino,<p>

Yeah, good point. Though I know he keeps sneaking in and out of my uncle's house...Ya know, Canada?

Please Lovino? Just a single reason. Just one honestly, GOOD, reason...per favore?

Yes, Ms. Hungary is also very nice to me and my family!

Sincerely,

Raquelle Jones

P.S. um...I just learned something from my dad...Apparently I'm related to Spain and France and England...Just thought you might like to know...

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

Canada...the one who looks like your dad right?

How about I'm a complete bastard and I don't think I can look him in the face again. That work for you?

That's nice, try not to let her corrupt you to much though...

~Depressed!Lovino

P.S. My condolences...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: God, Lovi is such a downer. -_-' Sorry guys~ I'll try and get him back to normal as soon as possible~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	15. Spain 6

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear my angry little Italian Tomato,<p>

... Oh dear... I didn't mean to upset you that much...

Love, tomatoes, and some paella with this letter,

Spain

P.S. Lovi... Don't blame yourself. Blame Francis. He sent you that crap in the first place. Everybody got drunk and stupid during Christmas... Even me... And I won't let Francis invade you... I promise.

* * *

><p>Dear Spain,<p>

I-It's fine. I w-would have found out from s-someone eventually...

~Guilty!Lovino

P.S. H-How can I not? He's only partially to blame...I-I should have just thrown it out...being drunk was no excuse...I-I...Thank you...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ah, Lovi. *shakes head* So damn stupid and stubborn.  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	16. Raquelle 4

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi<p>

yes, Canada is my dad's twin...

That's not a excuse Lovino(And you aren't really! ) Why can't you look him in the face again? What happened? Do you need a hug?

Eh. Sometimes being corrupted is a good thing. At least nothing goes over my head. *shrugs* Either way, it's her or Papa and I pick her...

Sincerely,

Raquelle Jones

P.S. The only one I'm really worried about is France. . . . The other two are fine..

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

Ah, I see.

It isn't an excuse, it's a fact. Because of what I did...I don't need a hug. I need a time machine...

Sometimes...i suppose. That's true I guess...I have to agree with your choice.

~ Numb!Lovino

P.S. It all depends on your opinion on them. I would be worried if I was you.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well..*sighs* Numb Lovi is better than depressed Lovi.  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	17. Spain 7

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>My little tomato,<p>

I know you would have, I suppose it's better to hear it from me than someone who doesn't really care at all about you. At least with me, we can snuggle and forgive and forge- *cough* nevermind that last bit...

Love and tomatoes,

Spain

P.S. I forgive you.

* * *

><p>Dear Spain,<p>

I-I guess that's true...W-What was that? W-What in the hell makes you think- I-I'm going to pretend I didn't see that...

~ SlightlyBacktoNormal!Lovino

P.S. ...Thank you...But I don't...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: He's starting to get better! Thank goodness! Any more depressedness and I would have killed him! So he should be back to his usual self soon kiddies~ Barring any sudden problems.  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	18. Earth 2

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>To Lovino<p>

Sorry I yelled at you and shit before. I just have a lot of problems going on at the moment; polution, global warming, deforestation and so on. I'll make sure that the tomato harvest this year is really good okay?

Now I wanted to ask you a question.

I've been getting these extreme anxiety attacks lately and since I've been really chilling with Neptune lately I was wondering if you know of any countries that are having problems relationship wise?

From Earth

P.S I think it might be Feliciano because I've been picking up some weird vibes.

P.P.S I would check it out myself but I'm lazy and I went drinking with Mars and Jupiter last night. Those guy's know how to party!

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

Whatever. Tch, not like it bothered me. That sounds like a hassle. No objections here.

I don't know. I don't really talk with most other countries. Part of the reason my damn boss and fratello made me start this stupid thing.

~ KindofNormal!Lovino

P.S. Since when has he been in a relationship dammit?

P.P.S. That's not strange to think about at all...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Still not all the way back, but getting there~ It still feels odd to talk to your own planet. O.o' And Mars and Jupiter are partiers? Wow...never saw that one coming.  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	19. Raquelle 5

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi,<p>

Yeah...and I seem to be the only one who remembers his birthday...

Lovino Vargas, you are making excuses. It's Spain we're talking about here for god's sake! And what the hell did you do that would make you feel like that? And I personally don't think you are a bastard, I actually think you're really cool!

Yeah...I'd rather not be molested by my papa...Hell, I'd rather be corrupted by Prussia than my Papa...

Sincerely hoping you feel better,

Raquelle Jones

P.S. Eh. Again, at least I know how the other two work...somewhat...Spain isn't a problem for me and I usually see England a lot...France however...*shivers* he still scares me...

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

July 1st.

I am not making fucking excuses. I did something...I don't want to talk about...Really? You'd be one in a million.

...No comment...

I am, slowly but I am.

~ SlightlyNormal!Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry that it's so short~ I'll try to make the rest longer~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	20. Feliciano 2

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Fratello!<p>

Ah well that's no good! Don't be mean to big brother Spain!

Ve~

But he's sooo nice!

But they were good cookiesssssssssssssssssssss~

Your Brother,

Felicano!

* * *

><p>Dear Feli,<p>

Don't tell me what to do dammit.

No he fucking isn't. He's pretending to be nice in order to lead you into a false sense of security!

...you shouldn't be allowed to have sugar...EVER!

~ Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yay~ He's normal again! Let's hope it lasts~**

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	21. Earth 3

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>HELLO LOVI!<p>

It's so cool that Earth's countries are writing letters! But it doesn't matter because you'll ab become one with Venus in the end HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(random purple stains that smell like mint)

EEP! I'm so sorry Lovino. Venus found out about my countries writing letters and... She's been smoking coco leaves. It's like a drug for her...

Anyway Are you sure that Feli isn't having relationship problem? I mean I'm sure that it has to do with his love life. Maybe it has something to do with Ludwig? I've been picking up the same strange feelings from there as well... If I'm wrong sorry for bothering you!

From Earth.

P.S If I am right please don't kill Ludwig. His country makes the best beer!

P.P.S That purple stuff that smells like mint... That's Venus's blood... Weird huh?

P.P.P.S Once again I would have looked at it myself but Mars and Neptune want me to take them to Disney land for some reason.

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

Um...why the hell does she sound like Russia...?

I don't know anymore dammit! Everyone keeps mentioning it but I was never told anything! It had better not involve potato bastard...

~Lovino

P.S. ...No promises...

P.P.S. ...That's not fucking disgusting at all...

P.P.P.S. Interesting friends you have there...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yay~ He's normal again! Let's hope it lasts~**

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	22. Raquelle 6

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi,<p>

That makes two people...

Oh? Lovi, to me it sounds like excuses. Lovi, remember who it is we're talking about...He's the second most forgiving(Next to your brother) man on the planet. You'd have had to screw up badly to make him mad at you... anyway, I'll drop the subject. And yeah! You're fucking amazing!

yeah..awkward turtle...damn I thought I got rid of those...

That's a good thing! ^_^

Raquelle Jones

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

I'm pretty damn sure The frog would remember, he did raise him right?

Well it's not dammit! ...Valid point... I...really, really fucking did...And he isn't mad...I'd appreciate it if you did. Uh, thanks?

...nope...

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN:  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	23. Raquelle 7

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi,<p>

I dunno, I've never heard anything from Uncle France about it.

Alright, so how are you? *looks outside* would you like so rain? We have plenty...

Well, at least they go away from a while ^_^' Anyway...

Raquelle Jones

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

Huh. Maybe I'm wrong then...

I'm...better? I guess. Sure? I actually like the rain. It's calming. D-Don't go telling people and shit though! If anyone asks you heard nothing dammit!

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Rain is awesome~ I love the Rain~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	24. Earth 4

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino<p>

Venus sounded like Russia because she get's all like that when she smokes coco leaves.

Plus if you think her blood is gross, Mercury's blood is blue and tastes like tomatoes. I know because I got tricked into drinking some... it was gross.

And dude seriously? You think my friends are interesting? Have you met the other countries? All the damn countries are perverts!

So much simpler when it was just me and the dinosaurs. Sure I had to run for my life and had trouble finding food, but at least I didn't have to watch my back whenever I went to France or Russia...

Until next time Earth out

P.S your pissy behavior is starting to piss me off. NO TOMATOES FOR YOU THIS YEAR!

P.P.S Antonio was talking to me about you not answering your phone. ANSWER YOUR PHONE DAMN IT!

P.P.P.S Tonight I'm going clubbing with Saturn, Uranis and Pluto!

Tee hee Uranis is a funny name! But don't tell her I said that or she'll smack me upside the head!

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

That's...not reassuring.

Ew...how'd they manage to trick you into that?

I have...unfortunately...I know they are dammit...

~Lovino

P.S. ...Dammit...

P.P.S I'm going home today. I'll answer the stupid thing when I get back.

P.P.P.S Best of luck to you.

I don't think I'd tell even if I could.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Aw~ No tomatoes for Lovi. Sad face. Ah well, I know a certain Spaniard who's lips probably tastes like tomatoes~ Lovi can get his fix somehow~~ Hehehehe. Sorry, don't mind the rambling. ^_^'  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	25. Spain 8

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>My little tomato,<p>

Ehrm... just pretend I said nothing about snuggling... Ju-Just pretend I was talking about that nice tomato garden I've been telling you about.

Love and tomatoes,

Spain

P.S. No matter what, I will forgive and forget.

[A/N: Not my best.]

* * *

><p>Dear Tomato Bastard,<p>

I fucking plan on it. Yeah...let's go with that then...creeper...

~With irritation and awkwardness,

Lovino

P.S. ...Thanks...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yay~ Things are back to normal~ That means progress can be made~ *smiles* Looking forward to their future progression together~ Kesesesesesese~~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	26. Raquelle 8

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi,<p>

Well, he's about as forgetable as I am. But that's cause we have siblings that overshadow us with their annoyances. . .

That's fantastic Lovino! Yay, you feel better. And don't worry. I won't tell a soul. I promise ^_^

Raquelle Jones

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

He really does forget everything dammit...not always a good thing, but in this case...

I do surprisingly. G-Good...

Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>Please R&amp;R. I love to hear from you guys~<strong>


	27. Earth 5

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino,<p>

Nice to hear that you feel better! ^^

I'm still a little hung over from clubbing. If you're ever on Saturn they have the best drinks Thunbs up all the way! But stay away from the fish... No matter how cool they look don't touch them. They'll eat your flesh! I should know... that was how Atlantis dissapeared...

Anyway... Venus is really upset lately. I don't know why. I think Mars dumped her again for a star or something... Can you think of a way for me to cheer her up?

Speaking of Mars... he might ubduct some tomato crops this summer... I don't know why. He just said something about making the universes largest fruit... So just to let you know that your tomato crops are okay if they dissapear!

From Earth

P.S. You got a hang over cure? I really need one.

P.P.S. Venus is a really sweet girl, just keep her away from guns when she's high.

P.P.P.S. I'm taking Neptune on a tour of America! He want's to talk with Toni about an invasion or something... I hope their meeting goes well, don't you?

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

Thanks.

I ... don't think i'll be going to Saturn anytime soon...That's ...just fucking disturbing to imagine...I always wondered what happened...

I wasn't aware they were together in the first place. Uh... I'm not really the cheering people up kind of person...that's more Spain's thing...

O.o' t-thanks for the info...

~Lovino

P.S. Not really. Usually I just take pain meds and try to sleep it off.

P.P.S. N-Noted...

P.P.P.S ...I-I guess? I pray that Toni doesn't screw anything up dammit...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ...Weird chapter is weird...^^  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	28. New Zealand 2

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Kia Ora!<p>

Sorry about the last letter. I may have been a bit...tipsy...when it was written.

Anywho, I just wanted to ask how your life is at the moment.

No natural disasters, right?

No political problems?

Feeling well?

Confessed undying love to Spain yet? (come on, we all know your "little secret". You sleep very loudly).

Hope to hear from you soon!

New Zealand.

P.S. get that stick out of your arse and be nice sometimes. It shouldn't kill you -.-'

* * *

><p>Dear New Zealand,<p>

A **bit** tipsy? You were drunk of your ass.

Life is life. Good shit happens, bad shit happens and you move the fuck on to the next day. Been a lot of paper work lately so it's been fucking annoying to even wake up anymore. Half the time I pass out in my office and wake up to, big fucking shocker, more god damn paperwork. Like it fucking doubles over night...ugh...

Nothing too bad. I've handled worse.

Just extremely exhausted due to sleep deprivation.

No not ye- ...Wait...WHAT? Why in the hell would I ever confess my undying love to that tomato bastard? I don't sleep much at all anymore...

~Lovino

P.S. I'll do that the moment you sign up for AA. Deal?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Whoop! I'm in an awesome mood today~ Can't wait for more letters! Super pumped!  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	29. New Zealand 3

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Kia Ora South Italy<p>

Sheesh, get a helping hand -.-'. I hired an assistant, even though I guess I don't really need one...she's great! Today she finally decided to try and not flirt with me, and moved onto the receptionist Sharayah at the Beehive! :)

Take about 3 panadol (or whatever you use for headaches) and 7 sleeping pills before going to bed. You'll wake up fully rested (and if you were drinking the night before, no hangover! yay!)

Lol. Almost got ya ;). You should go easier on the guy though, seriously. Was drinking with him and his buddies a few nights ago (France seemed really worried about something...) and he said that he was sad that "his lil Lovi doesn't love him". Even broke out into tears in front of the whole bar. Poor thing...

Aotearoa (I hate my name. too long. So, for today, I am signing it as I used to!)

P.S. I'll have you know that in my beautiful country, AA stands for Automobile Association.

P.P.S. Oh, and I HAVE joined that alcohol thingy where they try and get you to quit...they're not very convincing. I keep on getting thrown out for back-chatting...ah, the good ole days when I used to piss England off every day. Man I miss them.

* * *

><p>Dear Aotearoa,<p>

Too much trouble if they screw something up. Um...good for you?

Thanks...I'll try to remember that. Ya know...If i can make it to bed before passing out...

I'll try and remember that...I seriously made him cry?...shit. I mean I'm used to him crying...but he's normally a happy drunk...

~Lovino

P.S. You know what I meant dammit.

P.P.S. ...somehow this doesn't surprise me...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Mao~ Today was a good day!  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	30. Earth 6

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear LOOOOOOOVVIIIIIIIII!<p>

SOOOOO whaz up?

Hehehehehehehehehehehehe and um... hehe

(splaters of stuff that smell like beer and a random fish scale)

Come to las vagas wit mw and Neptune! We're at a bar and drinking beer and stuff. Neptune want's ta ask you a question!^^

(random green stains)

*LOVIIIIIIII... that's a kick as name! I got's a question... how do contries get names if they wern't born? who names you?*

RANDOMNESS!

From EARTH

*AND MEEEEEE NEPTUNE!*

P.S. Come to Las Vagus with us LOVIIIIIIIIIII!

P.P.S. U got no choice. The car should be there by now!

P.P.P.S. What is the malten liquor? What get's you drunker quicker? What comes in bottles of in cans?

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

Well...I'm not drunk like you if you were curious.

No thanks. I'm not planning on drinking for quite some time...

We have people for that. I would try and explain it to you but you're obviously too drunk to understand it...

~Lovino

P.S. No. I'm busy with work right now.

P.P.S. ...wait...what? NO! I'm not going!

P.P.P.S. BEER! Wait...why do I know that song...DAMMIT DRUNKEN BASTARD! (Prussia)

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Can't get get enough of it!(beer) How we really love it!(beer) Makes me think I'm a man~ *loves Prussia and that song* ^w^  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	31. Raquelle 9

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi,<p>

Yeah, not always the best thing in the world...That's 'cause Uncle Mattie is kinda quiet and unconfrentational (I can't spell...among other things I can't do...)

But I think that's it's sweet that you like the rain. It makes you seem more thoughtful than your brother(not that that's very difficult) and I personally think it's awesome.

Raquelle

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

Agreed. Being unconfrontational isn't that bad. Better than some people. Hell look at me. I'm a confrontational person. The horrors speak for themselves...

Tch. W-Whatever. I'm not the sweet type. A lot of people are more thoughtful than Feli...as your dad might say, he's a few french fries short of a happy meal. But family is family...

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Nya~ So late~ My awesome day is over in 4 minutes! Which means a new awesome day can begin! Send in your letters peeps! You guys are what make my days awesome!~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	32. Earth 7

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino<p>

... um ... I've learnt a valuable lesson recently. It was this; never give Neptune your wallet. Bastard spent all my money and left me tied to a tree. I was like dude WTF? The second lesson was don't send letters while your drunk.

And on that note... why did you beat the crap out of Pluto? (he was the one driving the car that was meant to take you to Las Vegas) He is all pissy now because of it. He now thinks that my countries are a bunch of savages D=

YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FIX IT! I don't care if it's a written apology or if you want me to get you a rocket or arrange a meeting with him.

Asta~La~Pasta!

Earth!

P.S. If you don't apologize I'll go over to your house and punch your light's out!

P.P.S. Since I'm a planet I'm way stronger than a country so just imagine something that could kill a country (like Spain for example) with one punch.

P.P.P.S. Now that we understand each other have a good day ^^

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

You seriously got your wallet taken and got tied to a tree? How'd you get down?

He was the first person I could get my hands on and there's no way in hell I was going to allow myself to be kidnapped! Why? Not like I represent all the countries of the world. Want to prove him wrong? Send him to Canada.

Fine...I'll attach an apology letter to this one...just please don't have anymore planned kidnappings for me...I am not accountable for my actions of self defense against random drunk people busting down my door and forcing me into a car...

~Lovino

P.S. The letter will be attached to this one.

P.P.S. ...Please...do not threaten me. I...**do not**..._appreciate_...threats...

P.P.P.S. Si...Ciao...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hm...I can't tell whether Lovi was madder about being threatened...or Earth referring to killing Toni...my guess is the latter~ ^w^  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	33. Raquelle 10

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi,<p>

now, if we could combine some of your confrintationalism and uncle Matties .. .um well, UNconfrentationalism, then it'd be perfect. But eh, sometimes being confrintational is the only way to get a point across.

Aw. But yeah, he's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. But yeah, family is famiglia, and you gotta love them no matter what...but at least you only have one idiota of a brother to deal with.(I have 25...it sucks some days...)But he's a loveable idiot.

-Raquelle

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

That would be an ideal balance...but I think I'll stay the way I am thanks. Yes. Yes it is. Especially when you deal with people who like to ignore what you're saying and you have to **make** them listen~

I know. I do love him...but I don't necessarily have to like him all the time. Or a lot of the time...Especially after he's had sugar... I would have to shoot someone If I had to deal with more than Feli. Yeah...he is...

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Aww~ Lovi loves his brother...and is kinda almost nice in this...  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	34. New Zealand 4

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Kia Ora Lovino!<p>

You know, it may help if you take the pills IN bed. Just ask Spain to get them for you. I ask Aussie to help all the time ^^. Poor guy. He has a crush on some lady but to too scared to tell anyone. Wonder why...

Yes, you made him cry. Now get your arse over to Spains place and say that you're sorry and that you wuff him very much ^^

New Zealand

P.S. What part of me doesn't surprise you? The getting kicked out of an aa meeting, or the getting on the Poms nerve?

P.P.S. Russia sent me some vodka. Never tried it till now. It's good stuff!

* * *

><p>Dear New Zealand,<p>

Naw, really? I'm not asking him. I can get them myself! ...You aren't the sharpest crayola in the crayon box are you...? He's talking about you idiota! Jeez...

Well...I'll go apologize to him or something...But there's no way in **hell** you're getting me to confess something like that to him dammit! I'm not **that** guilty!

~Lovino

P.S. I was talking about getting kicked out...but now that I think about it...neither really surprises me...

P.P.S. Why would Russia send you vodka...? Well...you have fun with that...

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Am I the only one who notice Lovi said it would be a _confession_! And that he was _guilty_? ...lack of sleep makes him start slipping~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	35. San Marino

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Romano,<p>

Ah, it is nice to here you are exchanging letters as well, Older Cousin romano~!

i have nothing to say, except... don't look under your bed at night, least you find me~

kukukukuku~

love,

San marino

* * *

><p>Dear Mari,<p>

Nice isn't the word I would use...

Uh...I find that creepy...Are you off your medication or something? Thank god I've taken to sleeping in my office...

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: N-Ne...W-What do you think she meant by that? ...O.O ...Run Lovi. Run and find Spain.  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	36. Earth 8

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino<p>

I chewed through the chains! Yes Neptune tied me to a tree using chains... I have no idea where he got them though...

And seriously? Canada? Have you seen him when his favourite hockey team loses? I tried to visit him once just after that happened and I got a hockey stick in the face! I was like Q_Q

And Pluto was glad you sent that appology and would like to point out that he wasn't kidnapping you... I just called him while his favourite movie was on and he wanted to get you to Las Vagus as quickly as he could to watch the end of it... AND HE WASN'T DRUNK! that's how he acts sober... Sad isn't it?

Still trying to find my wallet though...

From Earth

P.S. Bitch please you think I was threatening you? dude that wasn't anything close to a threat. If I was threatening you I'd do something like mave a virus that turns att tomatoes into potatos.

P.P.S. That actually sounds like fun ^^

P.P.P.S. Later Lovi! I'm going to make a virus that turns all tomatoes into potatos ^^

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

You chewed...through chains...? Okay then...

A hockey stick to the face? Really? I figured he would have aimed lower but I guess it's just as effective...

It's was still against my will...**That** was him sober? ...wow.

Good luck with that...

~Lovino

P.S. Why the hell would you come up with something like that?

P.P.S You're joking right? No it fucking doesn't!

P.P.P.S. ...You are a **sick** _**sick**_ person...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: No that's just plain evil~ hehehehehe~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	37. Earth 9

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino<p>

... The virus I made to turn tomatoes into potatos has failed. Just like the time I tried to make a flying pig. But at least no one called any animal rights groups this time so it's all good ^^

One question... Can I stay over at your place for a few days?

From Earth

P.S. I wanna stay at your place because Russia is trying to make me become one with him. This is because he found out I'm the earth and he thinks if I become one with him tecnicaly everyone has become one with him *sweat drop*

P.P.S. If you let me stay over I'll stop trying to turn tomato's into potatos!

P.P.P.S. Fun fact! I don't know why I'm sending you this letter because I'm in the next room. Your brother let me in ^^

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

Thank god! Wait...why would you...never mind... What did you do to those pigs to make them sick animal rights groups on you?

Uh...I don't think that's a good idea...like at all...

~Lovino

P.S. Oh. Creepy. I can see why you'd want to hide. But why the hell would you pick my place?

P.P.S. Hm...maybe...I guess if it's only for a few days...

P.P.P.S. ...God fucking dammit Fratello...I think I have to move. Too many damn people know where I live...Maybe I'll ask tomato bastard if I can stay with him or something until I can find a new house...ugh...what a pain...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hehe. Frustrated Lovi is fun~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	38. New Zealand 5

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Kia Ora Lovino.<p>

Wait...ME? Yeah right. I know you probably haven't spent much time around me, but do you KNOW how I act? Yeah, I'm pretty, but I've stopped people calling me a "pearl" years ago...probably when England called me that too many times in a row and I punched him in the face...which was also the day that I learned that head wounds bleed...a LOT.

Oh, so you DO love him? Hm...should tell Hungary...maybe France?

New Zealand.

P.S. Speaking of France...wanna bet that the wine he just sent me is drugged? I've sent some of it to a lab to be tested. I think it's drugged lol. Probably still trying to get me back from what I did when I found that a French dude was near my Rainbow Warrior.

P.P.S. Russia sent me vodka because he thought I might like it. Only had a few drinks though. My culture is a binging culture when it comes to drinking. During the week, we're pretty much sober, but when the weekend comes...

* * *

><p>Dear New Zealand,<p>

You'd be surprised what people ignore for the sake of love. It makes you see the best in someone when they're at their worst. Why don't you ask him about it? Yes, they do bleed a lot and cause a huge mess. But that's what peroxide and bleach were made for~

I-I NEVER SAID THAT DAMMIT! DON'T GO AROUND TELLING PEOPLE THAT CRAP! ESPECIALLY NOT THOSE TWO!

~Lovino

P.S. It's drugged. You don't even have to test it. It is...hey. Do me a favor and tell Aussie that France tried to drug you and let me know what his reaction is.

P.P.S. Oh. Sounds like you live for the weekend eh?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Aw~ Aussie has a crush on NZ and she can't tell~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	39. Raquelle 11

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi,<p>

It would, but then what would the world do? We'd all freak out and die...or something like that. And there'd be a lot more wars...

Yeah; sugar and uncle Feli are not a good combo(I'm related to you guys through a long list of things...it's complicated...)EVER!

See what I mean..Some of the older ones are calmer, and Alaska's still really little, but the others...well, the brothers of the group...Then there's 24 sisters to deal with and well...yeah, cat fights anybody?

-Raquelle

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

That's a bit of an over exaggeration. Well...yeah. Probably...

Not at all...He's a handful as it is. Add sugar and I'm beating my head against a wall.

Yeah. Calmer and calm are two different things... Dio...too many siblings...I can barely stand one...You must have strong mental will not to kill them...

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ugh...I wouldn't be able to handle a sugar high Feli...I'd rather go hide somewhere safe...  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	40. Earth 10

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino<p>

Yep it's me again... Living in your basment like a certian albino... Just wanting to ask you if you could ask your brother to keep the screaming sex in the bedroom down? It's hard to sleep when you all you can hear is and I quote 'Oh, god yes. Yes. Yes. Please stop teasing me. Oh god yes.'

I need my sleep. If you could do that I would be very thankful.

Oh could you also check if Russia is still after me? Please and thank you.

Still living in your basement

Earth

P.S. I know who your brother is with and I'm sure you do to ;)

P.P.S. Hurry up and confess your love to Antonio!

P.P.P.S. Could you possibly leave me a bowl of food at the basement door? I'm afraid to leave it in case Russia finds me!

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

Wonderful. ...What? ...no comment...I really just...no fucking comment...

Why don't you ask him? There's no way I'm talking to my little brother about his sex life! That I was unaware he had until now! *shudder* I'm going to go find some mind bleach...ugh...and a gun to shoot potato bastard...

Meh...fine...

I noticed dammit!

~Lovino

P.S. ...

P.P.S. NO! FUCK THAT! I'm so tired of being told that! I haven't even see or heard from the bastard in like...a week! So I wouldn't know where to find him either way!

P.P.P.S. Whatever...I will on my way out...I'm going to go hide...after I find that bleach...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh...dear...That's got to be awkward the next morning...Germany's in deep shit...  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	41. Raquelle 12

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi,<p>

yeah. I tend to do that...Sorry.

yikes! That's rough. I'd be doing the same if anyone gave any of the sets of twins coffee or stuff like that. Otherwise, they'd be the ones going and annoying Iraq, and that's just what we all need, more terrorist issues .

yeah, I personally blame dad for being a man-whore and having all of us. I believe that the 13 states that began with are about as old as dad with more of England's personality and or Spain's persoality, so they're easy going. I think Penn is more Italian, and Florida's cuban...I'm the mixed up one, Cali's Mexican, Washington is...Native American and Canadian I think...I know that the fifteen oldest are Conneticut, Delaware, Georgia, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hapshire, New Jersey, New York, North and South Carolina, Pennsylvania, Phode Island Virginia, Louisianna and myself. Louisianna and I only because we were large ass Territories. I kinda took after my half uncle Germany on the patience thing. I do however love the 2 youngest Hawaii and Alaska. They're just so adorable!Even if Alaska does look similar to Russia...

-Raquelle

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

No problem.

How many twins are there. Ugh...don't even mention caffeine. I swear Feli walked on the ceiling once after having caffeine! What an interesting way to start a feud...

Wow...he really is a man whore...

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Alfie's a man whore. What fun~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	42. Earth 11

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino<p>

Happy days! Russia has stopped trying to find me ^^

I might have told a certain insest crazty sister where he was (insert evil laugh here). So now I can freely walk around without fear of being raped ^^

Now I can leave your house and go back to mine ^^

BUT there is one little problem with that

...

I'm kind of stuck

...

In the wall

...

Don't ask me how I got there I just woke up like this.

Stuck in your wall

Earth

P.S. Please get me out of here! It's dark and smells funny.

P.P.S. While I was stuck here I happened to find your journal.

P.P.P.S. O_O HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE! I bet Hungary would love to see this ;) and you say that you don't like Antonio. You're such a lier. Really vivied dream you had about him last night... I didn't know you were that kniky... You are such a perverted little nation. -_-

P.P.P.P.P.S. How the hell can I even read this in the dark?

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

Good for you.

Why didn't you do that sooner?

Great. See ya then.

...you woke up...inside my fucking wall...GREEEEAAAAT! Note the sarcasm.

~Lovino

P.S. Which wall are you in?

P.P.S. You...what?

P.P.P.S. ...You say anything and I will LEAVE YOU IN THAT DAMN WALL TO ROT!

P.P.P.P.S. ...Better questions.

1.) Why the hell are you asking me?

2.) Why the fuck would you invade my privacy like that if I was letting you stay in my house to hide from RUSSIA!

3.) ...How the hell did you send me this letter if you're in a wall...?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ooh. Now I have an urge to write a separate fic of Lovi's journal~ hehehe~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	43. Earth 12

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino<p>

1) I'm asking you because I thought you might know idiot.

2) I get bored easily. I needed something to do while I was waiting for Belarus to find Russia.

3) I don't know...

BTW can you hurry up and find me! I'm starting to get panic attacks!

still stuck in your wall

Earth

P.S. I'm getting thirsty

P.P.S. I made a new friend. He's a little rat I named Nibbles. He's been trying to eat your journal but I've stopped him!

P.P.P.S. YOU CAN'T LET ME DIE! I'M THE EARTH! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A PLANET DIES? I'LL TELL YOU! EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE DIES! So that means no more tomatoes and no more Antonio...

P.P.P.P.S. I have a feeling I'm in the kitchen wall. Not sure but start there!

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

Well I don't know okay?

So you can't just find some random hobby that DOESN'T involve reading about my most private thoughts? Really?

...There are no words...

...fine...I guess dammit.

~Lovino

P.S. You can get something to drink when you get out of my damn wall.

P.P.S. ...you made friends...with a rat?

P.P.P.S At this point I'm debating it...Fine! I'll help!...But only for the tomatoes...

P.P.P.P.S Fine. I'm bringing a sledgehammer. Stand back.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Pfft! Only for the tomatoes my butt! XD  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	44. Earth 13

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino<p>

... Just realized something important...

I'm not in your wall *sweat drop*

Hahahahaha (nervous laugh)

That's funny right? RIGHT?

I was actually locked in a closet in the attic...

Sorry if you already teared up the kitchen wall...

Well Nibbles is fine if you want to know...

So I'm going to leave before you kill me. I've sent your journal along with this letter.

Running away from your house

Earth

P.S. I'm keeping one of the pages from your journal

P.P.S. I'll give it back to you when you talk to Antonio and confess your love to him like you have written about doing so many times ;)

P.P.S. If you don't I'm posting the page on the internet AND I'm going to send emails to every country and planet. (just because I can =P)

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

...WHAT?

FUNNY? I JUST PUT HOLES IN MY DAMN WALLS LOOKING FOR YOU AND YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS FUNNY?

I don't give a fuck about your creepy little rat friend!

You BETTER fucking run!

~ Pissed!Lovino

P.S. THE HELL YOU ARE!

P.P.S. I refuse to give into your demands!

P.P.P.S. ...Even if I wanted to...I don't know where he is...he hasn't been answering his phone...so you're out of luck. Now give me that page back!

* * *

><p><strong>Please R&amp;R. I love to hear from you guys~<strong>


	45. New Zealand 6

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Kia Ora Lovi (hehe. Nice nickname there ^^)<p>

Hm...I guess...But I don't think I should ask him. Last night, he came over for some desert (I SO created the Pavlova first) and he seemed a bit...sad. I ask if he was ok but he didn't say anything...

Hm...You sure you're not head over heels? Maybe I should just tell Spain myself. After all, I NEVER throw away the letter I receive, and always keep a copy of the ones that I do send.

New Zealand

P.S. No, I do NOT live for the weekend, my weekends are just fun ^-^

P.P.S. Yeah the wine is drugged and I did tell Aussie...but...now he's mad...really mad...can i stay over at your place till he calms down?

P.P.P.S Don't bother saying no, I'm already at the airport and have booked my flight. I have never seem Australia so angry before...

* * *

><p>Dear New Zealand,<p>

Ugh...not you too...

Sad? Well how the hell do you expect him to feel? The woman he has feelings for is treating him like a friend and he has to go through every waking hour thinking you'll never see him as more!

Positive. Don't even think about it!

~Lovino

P.S. Che. Whatever. Have your fun then.

P.P.S. I knew it! Ugh...I suppose...

P.P.P.S ...WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE? My home is not a boarding house for you guys!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hehe, looks like he's getting another roomie~**

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	46. Raquelle 13

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi,<p>

some people just get easily annoyed by that...apparently, I'm "supposed to be the smart one."

There are ...oh, North and South Dakota, N and S. Carolina, East and West Virginia, and I believe that New York cloned himself once and it ended up being a female mirror for a while. She lives with New Jersey I think...There are a bunch of twins.. . I'll bet that's one hell of a way to start the day though. XD

Yeah just a tad. Why does it surprise people? There's a reason he has 50 children. . . I mean, I think Alaska was scarred when he figured out that he sleeps in the same room he was conceived in. . . .But Hawaii is just completely calm(She's Dad and I believe Japan's kid..) while most of the ones on the East coast are all America and England's offspring from the Revolutionary time. . . I'm more Spanish and Native American than British. I think I'm more FRENCH than British. . . Which would explain a lot.

-Raquelle

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

Well I have a lot worse annoyances at the moment. You are nothing compared to them...

Oh. I can imagine. The start of a day of hell maybe...

He's just so...him. It's disturbing to think about... Well if you are, I can say you didn't get the creepy genes from the frog. Lucky you.

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Apparently being creepy is genetic~ Who knew. *shrugs*  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	47. Earth 14

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino,<p>

Well hi there. I hope you're still not made about your walls and stuff...

So um anyway Remember how I said that I was running away from your house? Well I'm actually still in your house. This is because a certain country is a little bit mad I borowed (translation- destroyed) scone recipies...

So we'll be roomies again ^^

Isn't that wonderful? I also heard New Zealand is is moving in with you! It'll be like a none stop party!

Woot! Party like an animal!

B.T.W. I'm actually living back in your basement again!

From Earth

P.S. Please don't kill me! I'll pay for your walls!

P.P.S. And I'll give you back the page I stole!

P.P.P.S. And I'll cook food! My cooking is epic!

P.P.P.P.S. Can I keep Nibbles? He is so cute! I'm asking because I found him in your house!

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

I'm not **mad**. I'm FURIOUS!

GET OUT! Wait...Stay long enough for me to shoot you. THEN get out.

There will be NO partying! I don't need you inviting more fucking people to my house!

Just...fucking wonderful...

~Irritated!Lovino

P.S. You had better dammit.

P.P.S. Good. And you had better never mention anything you read!

P.P.P.S. Stay the hell out of my kitchen once it's fixed...

P.P.P.P.S. ...Fine. Just keep it the hell away from me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Aww~ Earth gets to keep his new pet~  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	48. New Zealand 7

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino<p>

Let me guess, you aren't going to drop it? He's been fine before...we practically spent most of our time together when we were colonies with England, as that stuffy excuse for a man didn't give us anything to do!

Hm...guess now would be a bad time to say that Hungary just showed me a film of you (a bit old, I think) confessing your love to Spain...well, a tree, but you thought it was Spain lol. And people say I can't control how I drink!

New Zealand.

P.S. Oh Thank you! I'll give you one favour (being done within reason).

P.P.S wait...this has happened to you before? Never happens to me (pouts)

P.P.P.S On my way now from the Airport...don't understand a lick of Italian, but it's rather easy to find your way to your place.

* * *

><p>Dear New Zealand,<p>

Not a chance. How has your relationship been lately? Have you ever caught him just staring at you or making up excuses to spend time with you?

...no comment. Good thing I'm not drinking anymore...

~Lovnio

P.S. Good. I'll keep that in mind then.

P.P.S. I'd gladly send the next person who wants to stay with me to visit you!

P.P.P.S. Okay. I'll get you a dictionary. ...How lucky of me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Lovi is turning into a romance counselor~ If only he could apply this ability to his own love life. *sigh* Stubborn tomato...  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	49. Raquelle 14

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi,<p>

Thank god on that one.

That was an interesting month if I say so myself...Lots of arguing which one is better at music and arts...But at least I woke up to classic rock or a forign band(how I found vanilla Sky, who is from Rome Italy! They are amazing) every morning...Unlike cali who will make me wake up to rap music... But it was a very interesting month.

heh, yeah it is. Thank the good lord I didn't get the perverse genes from Papa. Father had manners installed into me at a younger age than the others and all that went to hell when Russia decided to take me away as a small child to his house...But my dads all came and saved my sorry ass...

-Raquelle

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

Agreed.

Who ended up winning the arguments? Or was it a tie? Sounds like it was.

Thank god for your manners. One of the more pleasant people to talk to without fucking harassing me every letter about confessing my love or wanting to live in my basement or steal my journal. Russia is a creepy S.O.B For sure...

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>Please R&amp;R. I love to hear from you guys~<strong>


	50. Raquelle 15

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovi,<p>

Um...I don't think anyone really WON any of the arguements...It kinda went to whoever didn't get thrown through the walls...So it went back an forth. Eventually the female was gone, since Florida figured out how to send crap to the moon..So I get video chats every so often with her. XD

Thank you. Yeah, once someone says no, just drop it. More people get less offended by that. Live in your basement? okay That's a tad on the weird side deary. . . Yeah, at least the women in the house outnumbered him...Auntie Bela is fun when it's just her, Auntie Ukraine and I there. But when hehe, "Dad" shows up, all hell breaks loose...

-Raquelle

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

Wow...through the walls...really? Ah, sounds like fun.

Yep. Yes...live in my basement...He won't leave. Weird doesn't even begin to cover it. -_-' I've heard they aren't too bad...but their brother... Hell breaking loose...sounds about right.

~Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>Please R&amp;R. I love to hear from you guys~<strong>


	51. Earth 15

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Dear Lovino<p>

Why must you hate me so! You've tried to shoot me ten times! All I wanted to do was open a window! And WHY THE HELL WERE YOU WAITING FOR ME TO GET OUT OF THE SHOWER WITH A FUCKING SHOT GUN!

Fine... No parties.(pouting) Mars and Jupiter are going to be so mad at me...

Can you at least give me a light bulb? The one in the basement is dead.

AND I PAYED FOR YOUR GOD DAMN WALLS AND I PAYED FOR A NEW FUCKING KITCHEN! SO STOP TRYING TO KILL ME!

Still living in your basement

Earth

P.S. Nibbles is still fine ^^

P.P.S. Since I'm staying indefinitely... Do I have to pay rent?

P.P.P.S. Can I keep another pet in the house?

P.P.P.P.S. It's a sheep! They are woolly and we can make jumpers out of there wool! They make awesome gifts ^^

P.P.P.P.P.S. I still can't believe the only way we can have a normal conversation is to write letters to each other (THIS IS BECAUSE YOU KEEP TRYING TO KILL ME)

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

Stupid question. Really? I wasn't counting. Stay away from my windows then and maybe you won't end up target practice. Because my M-16 was out of bullets...?

Damn straight. You deal with them. I like my house standing thank you.

Check the downstairs hall closet, bottom shelf.

Hmm...I'll think about it...and it's not about the 's the principle of the thing.

~TriggerHappy!Lovino

P.S. ...I didn't ask. Just keep your rat away from me.

P.P.S. Why? ...Fine dammit. Sure. Come into my office and we'll discuss your...living arrangements...

P.P.P.S. Isn't one enough for you dammit?

P.P.P.P.S. And where the hell do you expect to keep it? Do you even know how to take care of sheep? Go talk to New Zealand about it. She would know. Then come talk to me.

P.P.P.P.P.S. I would stop trying if you sat still. *creepy smile* Trying implies the lack of success. Just don't move and I can fix that no problem.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: N-Ne...do you think Lovi might be a bit TOO into guns and shooting people. Crazy mafia bastard...*hides***

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	52. New Zealand 8

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Yeah. Since we looked around 8 when I first met him -.-' Like I said, England gave us nothing to do, so we tended to form groups and play with the people in those groups.<p>

That can be arranged ^^

Uh...just so you know, there's a really random dude I haven't seen before in your basement.

Also, you're out of alcohol. Want me to go get some?

New Zealand.

P.S. ...somehow, I'm going to regret it.

P.P.S. *evil laugh while rubbing hands* ah...good.

P.P.P.S. Never mind, already got one. Your supermarkets are bigger than mine...I got lost :( Luckily, someone found me!

* * *

><p>Dear New Zealand,<p>

Hmm...interesting. I'm more than sure of it. He definitely has feelings for you. When he calms down and you go back home, you are going to sit down and talk with him dammit! Don't pull that tip toeing around each other shit. Just be open and talk! The worst that could happen is that its a misunderstanding and it all gets cleared up, the best is that your friend becomes your boyfriend. Either way, it won't do you any damn good to just sit around wondering.

...what's that supposed to mean?

Yeah...that's earth...long story...just ignore him. I do.

If you want. I'm not fucking drinking.

~LoveDoctor!Lovino

P.S. Maybe, maybe not. We'll find out won't we?

P.P.S. I...have no comment.

P.P.P.S. Alright...who found you?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Love Doctor Lovi~ Haha. I hope NZ and Aussie get together~ So cute!  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	53. New Zealand 9

**Rated M for future violence, language and potential yaoi.****  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or it's characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Kia Ora!<p>

Hm...fine, ok. I'll go back soon, I heard that France was found, bruised all over and muttering something about kangaroos...

I guess I never really thought Australia felt anything for me. I mean, we practically live in the same houses.

oh, nothing *innocent look*

O...kay...he's asking me about sheep, I'm getting freaked out, so I threw something at him to make him scatter...just ignore the missing vase for a little while...

YAY!

New Zealand.

P.S. ...what have I gotten myself into?

P.P.S. xD

P.P.P.S I dunno who found me...he was really loud and kept eating hamburgers. Kinda looked like Canada! But sounded American...he gave me a headache...and you have no pain killers...

* * *

><p>Dear New Zealand,<p>

Good. Hehehe...I wish Aussie had videotaped what he did to the creepy frog. I'd love to get my hands on a copy of that.

Well...now that you're thinking about it, do you like him too? What goes through your head when you see him or hear his voice? Does he make you happy? Like...more happy than any 'friend' ever could? Hint frickin hint.

*suspicious glare* Don't you dare try to pull anything on me. I WILL get revenge. Aussie or not.

*eye roll*

~Lovino

P.S. You owe a favor to a mafia boss. What the hell do you think you got yourself into? *shakes head and sighs*

P.P.S. Have fun with your torture.

P.P.P.S. Oh...so you met America...my condolences. Did you check the medicine cabinet in the upstairs bathroom? If you can't find any, you can always send Earth out to buy more. Anything to get him out of the damn house...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hmm...I wonder if Aussie actually DID video tape it...I would.  
><strong>

**Please R&R. I love to hear from you guys~**


	54. AN 1

**Author's note! Hey guys! I am back from the dead, but not a zombie, so don't shoot! *ducks* A-Anyways!v I'll be updating everything now, plus starting to put on all the random fail drabbles i write whe bored, so enjoy those~ Or not, ya know~ This is getting long, bah! Whatever! I'm back baby, all that matters! ;D**


	55. Earth 16

Dear Lovino

WHY DOSE EVERY ONE HATE ME?(tear stains smudging the first sentences)By the way New Zealand threw a vase at me...

So I'm going to be out for a few months because I'm getting getting a cancer removed from my lungs... and my liver... and my brain... and various other parts of my body.

Oh, well... That's pollution, deforestation and mass extinction for you...

Packing my things and going away for a few months

Earth

P.S. I'm also getting a bullet removed from my ass. (angry glare)

P.P.S. Can you look after Nibbles for me? Please don't kill/lose/misplace him.

P.P.P.S. I'm the damn Earth! I know how to look after all animals! and plants! But I have no idea how to look after people and every time I try I end up getting shot of get terminal cancer of some kind...

P.P.P.P.S. Since you hate me so much I'll never come back. (More smudged writing) and that's why I do these stupid things! It's because I (more smudged writing) no one gives a damn about me...

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

Uh...I kind of fucking noticed when there was screaming and a loud breaking noise...And considering my vase is no longer in the foyer...

You're going to be...c-che cosa? Since when...?

Oh...that's...holy fuck...

Lovino

P.S. Oi! I could have shot you somewhere more vital, but i didn't. That has to count for something dammit...

P.P.S. Ugh...Si, i suppose i can...And I'm not going to lose/kill/misplace your rat/pet/thing! I'm not my fucking idiota fratello! I'm capable of caring for another life form thank you!

P.P.P.S. Well then why did you ask her about them in the first place if...hn...never mind...

P.P.P.P.S. You don't...well...I never fucking said you couldn't come back...not like I'm going to say you're never allowed back or something...be a waste of my damn time to try and stop you if you've already decided though...i guess good luck, or something...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well crap...now i feel guilty...X'D I'm sorry Earth~ I love you~ I care...~<br>**


	56. New Zealand 10

I dunno...try youtube. His account is AussieRules. I told him not to name himself that -.-'

yeah, I know that that's a hint, genius. I...guess? I haven't really thought about it...And when I think of Australia...he kind of reminds me of the sun.

Oh yeah? Who says that I am the one who will pull something? I DO know people/nations.

New Zealand.

P.S. Wait...you own a mafia? Cool!

P.P.S. Oh, I ALWAYS do ^^

P.P.P.S. Found some. And that "America" is really annoying...I wonder why England likes him so much.

* * *

><p>Dear New Zealand,<p>

Ha! Fucking noted for future use! Grazie.

The sun...that can be interpreted in too many ways, but all of them are good. It just depends on the attachment level or some shit like that. You know best what your feelings are.

Well I'd still find out if it was you or not. I'd have people trace it back...and of course anyone helping you would pay as well. Though my interest it always focused on the damn mastermind.

Lovino

P.S. I don't own it...i just run it. And i guess you could call it cool...I call it messy...

P.P.S. I'm sure...

P.P.P.S. Who the fuck knows? Brow bastard has always been really weird in his tastes...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Iggy loves Alfred because he's the damn United States of AWESOME! Haha~ But really though~<br>**


	57. Raquelle 16

Dear Lovi,

Yup...It was a new way to wake up for school, I'll leave it to that. And now NY is all clear on gay marriages, Uncle Mattie can come on and get married to Gil. Finally! Those of us states who aren't homophobes(mostly west coast and some east coast states) have been waiting for poor Uncle Mattie!

Okay then...why don't you kick him out?...Yeah, they aren't bad at all, but "dad" is..well, I've seen some of the horrid things he did to Gil andit was frightening...So all hell breaking loose was a normal occurance when I was with him...Which I still have to go visit him with Alaska so that the kid won't get taken over.

-Raquelle

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

Ah, right. Him and Potato Bastard Number two will be happy together I'm sure...whatever floats your uncles boat i guess. Have fun at the wedding.

I..A-Anyways...Yeah...your dad can be fairly fucking crazy. Hell breaking loose...yeah. Have fun on your trip to Alaska. Bring a coat alright? Being sick is annoying...

Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hooray for All hell breaking loose~<br>**


	58. Ireland 1

Dia Duit Lovino,

I'm Ireland!A.K.A. ...How are you?Can I stay at your house for a week?Iggy's drunk and trying to force me to eat his I want out of the house.

From

Hiding!Ireland

* * *

><p>Dear Gelace,<p>

I've been better...I...Si, I guess, I fucking give up trying to say no. Do whatever you damn well please. That...that should be a criminal offense. Attempted murder! Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just don't break anything...

Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Haha, Lovi's house is now everyone's personal hiding place~~<br>**


	59. Ireland 2

Gia Duit Lovino,

Go raibh maith agat or in English,thank you soon!

From,

StiiHiding!Ireland

* * *

><p>Dear Gelace,<p>

Sure...do you know how to get here if you're hiding? I can ask New Zealand to come and get you. She should enjoy getting out to explore a bit more, barring the fact fucking America doesn't show up again...

Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Poor America...it's not his fault he's so loud~<br>**


	60. New Zealand 11

(A/N: YAY!YOU'REBACK!YOU'REBACK!YOU'REBACK! ^^ I esh happy now ^^)

Kia Ora Lovino!

No problem. He tends to update a LOT...apparently, people WANT to see guys get kicked by a kangaroo...The first two times it was funny, not the 2,985th time.

I Like the sun! Kinda had to, since it was one of the only ways to keep warm Back when before I met China and the Maori and was introduced to clothes...

pfft. My people don't break. Plus, I don't pay them. I just buy them a drink! xD

What's so interesting about the mastermind? They're annoying and normally very cocky.

I...probably should head back home now...thanks for giving me some time to get used to the new situation and what not ^^. I'll be out of your hair (or curl, whatever you Italian boys say) for a while...

New Zealand.

P.S. Owning, running, same diff. But messy IS cool! Why do you think I still initiate mud fights and love rugby?

P.P.S. On a rugby note...YEAH!WE KICKED FRENCH ASS! TAKE THAT FRANCE! YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOUR MORE YEARS NOW TO LOOSE AGAIN!THE AB'S ARE A.W.E.S.O.M.E!

P.P.P.S. True. Kinda wondering if I should've gone with France when the option came between him or England. Than again...groped or rejecting food and then running off to Ireland, Scotland and Wales to get yummier food? I looove Tattie Scones ^^

New Zealand.

* * *

><p>Dear New Zealand,<p>

Seeing people in pain is ALWAYS funny. Don't doubt the humor of other people's suffering.

Well you can enjoy all the sun you want to alright...in fact...why don't you get out and go pick up Ireland from the airport? That would be good for you both...

Really? Damn...well forget the Ireland thing then, and go sort your shit out with Australia will you? Becaus ui think we both know you need to.

Lovino

P.S. Che? When i mean messy...i meant lots of blood...i've lost some of my best suits that way sadly...

P.P.S. Pfft. Congratulations. At least someone gives that frog a well deserved defeat!

P.P.P.S. Trust me, you made the right decision choosing Eyebrows...The frog would have been a thousand times worse.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Surprised anyone noticed~ But yes i'm back~~<br>**


	61. Earth 17

Dear Lovino

All my cancers gone YAY! Well... for now anyway...

Having a fun time at the rehab center! Lots of random people here!

I got the post card you sent me... even if it was just to tell me Nibbles ran away... Damn...

Anyway... In answer to your question I've had cancer for years! Hell you just have to look around outside and see the planet is dying. But it's no big deal... I just need people to stop trying to kill me and it's all good!

Eart

P.S Really? I can come back? Awesome! I'll come back when I'm better. Just to hang out ^_^

P.P.S Um... just letting you know this now... While I was living in your basement I was hatching anacondas... and some flesh eating beetles... and I was breeding some flesh eating fungas... try not to go down there.

P.P.P.S Don't kill my anacondas.

P.P.P.P.S Don't kill my beetles either.

P.P.P.P.P.S and leave my fungas alone! But if you/someone touches it wash your hands in diluted bleach stright away.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S Have fun! HAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

><p>Dear Earth,<p>

Bene, well...at least for now...i guess?

I would imgine your the type to like being around randomness.

I-It wasn't my fault! I got distracted by paperwork and then my retarded ass Boss dragged me off to a useless meeting and when i got back-...And you can always get a new rat thing!

You just need people to try and stop killing you? Good fucking luck. I don't know if that's going to happen anytime soon...

Lovino

P.S Sure, whatever you say...

P.P.S ...WHAT THE FUCK EARTH? WHY IN MY BASEMENT? WHY? WHAT IN GODS NAME WERE YOU TRYING DO DO WITH ALL THAT SHIT?

P.P.P.S WHY SHOULDN'T I?

P.P.P.P.S NO WAY IN HELL I'M PROMISING THAT!

P.P.P.P.P.S THAT IS JUST DISTURBING DAMMIT!

P.P.P.P.P.P.S ...FUCK THIS SHIT! I AM OFFICIALLY MOVING! I'M GOING TO GO PACK MY STUFF, GRAB IRELAND FROM THE AIRPORT AND AM GETTING A NEW HOUSE. THIS ONE IS NOW APPARENTLY INFESTED WITH CRAZY!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Anyone else wondering how Lovi didn't notice all this stuff in his basement before...? Just me? Kay then~<br>**


	62. Raquelle 17

Dear Lovi,

yup I can't wait! New York and I are going to go "dress shopping" with him.

Alright I'll bring my coat with me( Ihatethecoldsofuckingmuch! .). I think 'Laska's going to go see them sometime next weekend so I get another trip to Europe. I have to go visit other family, and keep an eye on my baby brother, that otta be fun...

Yeah being sick sucks. This is why I am mad at dad at the moment...

-Raquelle

* * *

><p>Dear Raquelle,<p>

Dress...shopping? Have fun with that torture~ Send me photos will you?

Good. That sounds like fun, but be careful alright? I'm sure it will be fun. Even if you say it like that, I know you'll end up enjoying yourself somehow Raquelle. Aren't I right?

Well i think it's a minor offense compared to what some people are mad at your father for...

Lovino

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hmm...dress shopping eh?~ Oh the horror~<br>**


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